Reason #28

Because the woman sitting in front of me (of course I'm stuck standing) on the train seems to be highly offended that my lunch box has tapped her knee twice....look lady maybe if you lost a few pounds your fat fucking legs wouldn't be crowding me and my goddamn lunch box! JESUS!

Reason #27

Because apparently taxes were due yesterday (for my company) and I have to make 19 trips to the damn post office while carrying stacks and stacks of shitty heavy paper....isn't this the receptionists job?!

Reason #26

Because my boss is a bitch and she was born here.

Reason #25

Because the bus I took to the grocery store (too hungover to walk a fucking mile and a half) decided to go express (without telling me) causing me to go MILES out of my way!

Reason #24

Because of the crummy snowrain, Rock and Scissors (Halloween costume reference) cancelled on me....you can't have Rock, Paper, Scissors without Rock and Scissors!! NYC Halloween FAIL

Reason #23

Because I get stuck on the Q train at 11:30pm with the drunk bitch that pukes (an entire meal) in the middle of the train car and a homeless man that rolls, lights and smokes an entire cigarette while drinking his plastic bottle of vodka....stay classy new york shitty!

Reason #22

Because of the douchey Wall Street Exec who decided that picking his nose and eating his findings was a GREAT idea! Gagging in my coffee right now!

Reason #21

Because of the dancing man (on the train) that keeps taking my attention away from my book...please stop your dancing and PLEASE PLEASE turn that shitty music down...I just don't understand how I can STILL hear your craptastic music over your goddamn headphones!

Reason #20

Because of the asshole on the typically over-crowded Q train that thinks keeping his backpack on the whole ride (while we're packed like fucking sardines) is a GOOD idea!

Reason #19

Because running and errand (adding one extra tiny stop to my trip home) adds 45 fucking minutes to my already forever long commute...did I mention I hate New York Shitty Transit?!

Reason #18

Because there are NEVER any shopping carts available at the grocery store...wtf?! If you know you run out, order more goddamn grocery carts....seriously...how hard is it to figure out?! (Big "fuck you" to Stop 'n Shop)

Reason #17

Because a breakfast buffet for two costs $48 fucking dollars!

Reason#16

Because I have yet to figure out how a person can be wearing headphones AND still I can plainly hear ever word of his shitty, annoyingly ghetto, crap rap music.  Come on man, turn that god-awful shit down!

Reason#15

Because my monthly pills cost $75 thanks to my shitty NY insurance...thanks a lot shitty NY job with shitty NY insurance!

Reason#14

Because it's so fucking windy by the water that it's impossible to use a damn umbrella....wind + umbrella = shitty, soaking wet hair!

Reason #13

...beacause it doesn't matter how early you leave the house, you're still 15 minutes late to work.  Fucking inconsistent subway (you'd think we'd have a spectacular system since a goddamn subway card is $104!)

Reason #12

Because the woman I work with is a huge (literally, as in 'fat ass'), micro-managing, bitch (I'm pretty sure she's the devil incarnate)...and yes, I know work in Jersey City, it's close enough to NY so it's New York Shitty's fault!

Reason #11

Because a $25 cab ride (from the LGA) turns into a $50 dollar cab ride in the blink of an eye (fucking traffic and bridge closures)..

Reason #10

Because I have to pay $6 for a beer during fucking Happy Hour!

Reason #9

Ohio is 900 times prettier, cleaner and friendlier than New York Shitty!

Reason #8

Jewish holidays where they sleep in a tent behind their house (next to my fucking bedroom window)...wtf?!

Reason #7

Two words: Body Odor.  Why do I always catch THAT train?!

Reason #6

When you see a train coming, walking in front of it with your cell phone attached to youre head makes perfect sense!

Reason #5

150% HUMIDITY!! Every goddamn day = bad hair!!

Reason #4

Only in NY do you have to walk 2 miles round trip to get to and from the grocery store...while looking like the bag lady.

Reason #3

Getting stuck behind extremely overweight people that walk up the stairs like friggin turtles....maybe if they stopped inhaling the ho-ho's and ding dongs they wouldn't be so GODDAMN SLOW!

Reason #2

Only in New York Shitty can you get mugged on the subway platform, during rush hour, by a person wielding a box cutter.

Reason #1

Nothing says "classy city" like getting off at your subway stop and the first thing you see is a nasty, dirty, hairy homeless man wanker! wtf?!